The human mouth is digestive and communicative, where we feel pleasure and pain, a place of fulfillment and life-long regret. Everyone I know has said something they regret. Scientifically speaking, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body (in ratio comparison of size and strength). Biblically speaking, it holds the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). James 3 refers to the strength of the tongue and how it burns, hurts, and affects the whole body. Untamed, the mouth can bring forth a plague of ruin, a disease running rampant all around us.
Can you think of the last encouraging words someone shared with you? I believe encouragement it so powerful because it is so lost, forgotten, and unheard. We allow our mouths and tongues to tear at others. Wake up! Pay attention! We need to be aware of what we are saying. I want my words to be my legacy. A lot of times, we as Christians say we show our faith because of how we act, but what about what we say?
It is amazing how many of the guidelines we set out for our children stem from control of the tongue. Here are some of those things we teach.
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Our own explanation of "The Golden Rule"
Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Would you be hurt by the words coming out of your mouth? How would you feel? Do you want someone talking to you that way? Christian or non-Christian, we all understand pain and the ideals of how we would like other people to treat us.
Defensiveness/Self-Preservation
Self-preservation is a natural response. We don't want to get in trouble. We don't want to hurt, so we protect ourselves. We protect whether it is the right thing or not. How are others affected by our protection of self? Who did we have to "throw under the bus", lie about, pass the blame to?
Boundaries
When you put yourself in an unhealthy situation with an individual and without accountability, truth can only be found in words. We think doing what we want in secret won't hurt, but it does when both sides are telling different stories. Maintain the boundaries so you don't have to depend on the integrity of words that can be manipulated and twisted through emotion and self-preservation.
Lies hurt.
We think a little lie here or there isn't going to hurt anyone, but we get used to it. We get in the habit of lying, not because it even makes that big of a difference in the situation, but because we are comfortable with it. Every time we tell an untruth we are potentially hurting someone else, but we are always stealing a piece of our own integrity and hurting ourselves.
Gossip is always wrong.
Whether we think we are helping someone by sharing their personal life so we can pray for them, or because of self-preservation, gossip is always wrong. Listening to it, perceiving others through it, treating people differently because of it are all just as wrong as speaking it. Maybe worse. Not only do we partake in gossip, but we give it power and control over our lives.
There is so much more to be said. The Bible is FULL of teachings about abstaining from gossip and lies and controlling what comes out of our mouths. So much of that control starts with what is in our hearts (Luke 6:45).
Maybe this is an entry of venting my frustrations, but I would like to think I am writing because I want to encourage change. Over the last couple months, I have been trying to take in struggles with gratitude. Each time I feel hurt, I want to remember that feeling, not to harbor unforgiveness. I want the wound to heal, but the scar to remain so I remember not to inflict that same pain on someone else. I want pain to drive compassion and selflessness.
I personally have apologies to make, untruths to set straight. I need to take care of them today. What about you? Are you treating people the way you want to be treated? Has your own self-preservation caused someone else pain?
When we are faced with the freedom to speak, it is an opportunity; an opportunity to offer encouragement, integrity, truth, and healing. From the same mouth come the disease and the healing.
I never have liked being sick.
